Burn your boat!
Before Mike and I got married, I had a pretty established plan for my life. It had primarily three components--marrying Mike, having a LOT of children, and then being a stay at home mom to those (four to seven...seriously) children. No part of my plan included working outside the home, and it most certainly had no place for medical school. There's still a part of me that really longs for the last part of my plan.

I am at peace with the fact that God has placed me on this path, but I am also very aware of the fact that it is beyond me. It is beyond what I would have planned, beyond what I would have attempted, and honestly, beyond what I would have been capable of doing, acting on my own strength. This, of course, is why I cling so heartily to that passage in II Corinthians where we are reminded that we are jars of clay, and the all-surpassing power is God's. Having just finished my first week of anatomy though, can I say that I feel like a pretty pathetic jar?

When I start to feel this way, I have been known to entertain thoughts about how great my plans seemed. I LOVE my kids; they are awesome. I love the idea of never missing a soccer game or spring concert and being there for every skinned knee....with a huge mom purse that has band-aids and antibiotic ointment and crayons and wipes and all of the other things that are the tools of the trade, when you are supermom.

Today's message was on being ready to give yourself in obedience to God's will and eliminating anything that might pull you back from God's will for your life. (Think of Elisha burning the plow when Elijah recruited him for God's work, I Kings 19.) Pastor Dave included an illustration about how these commanders of armies would always give the same command when they arrived on the shores of enemy territory. You know what it was? Burn your boats. Those troops were motivated to take the land when they realized there was no returning to the place from which they'd come. The point he was making was that "burning the boat" is what Elisha had done when he burned his plow, and that it is what we need to do when we step out in obedience. It was around this point that I realized I am fully committed no matter how hard it gets.....you know why? I burned my boat. When I joined the army, I burned my boat. I'm not going to be a stay at home mom; even if I quit med school, it's no longer an option. So....how about that for keeping me committed? That's not why I joined the army, of course, but it did work out that way....interesting realization.

With all that being said, I need to go overtake the enemy in the Lord's name....the enemy, in this case, being anatomy. Anatomy really is amazing, and I do have a healthy appreciation for it, but right now that appreciation is being overwhelmed by my need to conquer this course. So, for now defeat, and later appreciate ;)

-shannon

P.S. I'm pretty sure my blogs are going to have fewer (often no) pictures for quite awhile....I'm working on getting Mike to blog though....